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The Work
The Inner Family model for healing your relationship with yourself and
the people in your life.
The Inner Family Model of Recovery posits that
within each individual there are four distinct "I's" or consciousnesses.
These include:
| 1. |
An inner child - this is the
heart dimension of your life; you at your most vulnerable, natural
and undefended. This consciousness processes the events and
people of you life emotionally. If you are willing to access
and follow this "family member", your personal issues and
the unique particulars of your love life will begin to make perfect
emotional sense.
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| 2. |
An ego consciousness - the
ego was born at approximately the same time in your life when the
inner child "died" or, more accurately, was forced to disconnect
or go underground. The primary purpose of the ego is the survival
of the inner child and the entire inner family. If this meant
for example, squashing, hiding or denying the existence of an inner
child; never again trusting love (i.e. men or women); if this meant
becoming rich, important, powerful or isolated, or conversely, victimized,
a failure, solicitous or nondescript, it will continue to endorse
and enforce these survival strategies until it can be shown and convinced
that survival can be ensured in new and easier ways. |
| 3. |
The adult consciousness - this
is the adult the world sees when it looks at you. This is the
only consciousness that has a body. You are of such and such
a height, weight, gender , age, sexual orientation, profession etc.
This "family member" has the assigned task of being competent
and capable in the world. It is often extremely divided, torn
in two and extremely confused in its allegiance to both the inner
child and the ego. In the adult's unhealed state, he/she resolves
this conflict within by aligning itself, almost exclusively, with
the ego. The adult concludes that it might as well join ranks
with the toughest family member to ensure its survival in the world. |
| 4. |
A spiritual consciousness -
this consciousness has been with you since the beginning and has its
own blueprint or agenda for the "unfoldment "of your greatest
good in this lifetime. It has unique and immeasurable love,
wisdom and compassion and is indispensable in the healing process.
It is not attached, in the same way, to the survival of the inner
family and can consequently point and guide the family to an altogether
new and more peaceful and sane way of being. It also has a unique
perspective on the major elements that have shaped the inner family
and the separation within that has occurred. |
To heal your relationship with yourself and the
people in your life, each consciousness or family member must be known,
their story told, their pain and wounds, disorientation and confusion
approached, felt and understood. The distrust and conflicts between
"family members" must be brought to the light and worked
through to the mutual benefit of all concerned. The healing
that is possible when this unique experience is achieved is deep and permanent.
This state of wholeness, integration and self-love is the sin-qua-non
of individual and relationship healing.
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